domingo, 17 de maio de 2009

Caro leitor

Era quinta-feira. Compraste a revista Sábado, como fazes todas as semanas. Sentaste-te no teu sofá, ao fim da tarde, naquela hora morta em que a barriga começa a pedir jantar, mas a preguiça é grande demais para tratar disso. Ou então era hora de almoço e sentaste-te em tête à tête com a dita revista enquanto comias um bitoque com batatas fritas e bebias uma cerveja no snack-bar da esquina.

Estavas tu, retomemos, com a revista. "Brasil: nove paraísos por descobrir". Sugestivo, tentador. Começas a folhear, passas a publicidade, dás com a menina-Colecção-Aprender de dedinho no ar, bem comportadinha, muito bem. Lês as breves, as citações de famosos, com respectivas fotografias, pobre Lili, aliás. Vês uma menina crescida, de dedo na boca, Megan Fox, ao que parece. Lês tudo sobre a amiga da Amália e não podes deixar de sentir um prazerzinho fininho ao saber mais da vida dela.

Mas adiante, avanças, Brasil em mente.
E aí está ele, com uma paisagem de sonho logo a abrir. Aí o teu estômago acalma-se ou o teu bitoque sabe-te melhor, é consoante. Folheias sofregamente, sonhas com a tua toalha de praia ali estendida, sim aquela que está guardada há um ano, que a esta hora cheira a mofo ou a naftalina… é consoante. Suspiras, lês umas coisas, vais sonhando. Até que viras a página, e dás com o Nuno Rogeiro. Brusco regresso à realidade! E com o teu dedo encervejado viras a página. Santana Lopes em grande, “Saem duas minis para ser como o povo”. Ups! Sem querer, meteste-lhe uma dedada de cerveja na testa… Olhas para o relógio, já se fazem horas de avançar no teu programa do dia. Aí, dás com o Miguel Portas a esbracejar, como se te dissesse: sim claro, vai jantar ou paga a conta, é consoante, mas de que estás à espera, mexe-te! Perturbado com a convicção do gesto, continuas a folhear a revista. Intriga-te o misterioso Senhor Não, intriga-te a vida discreta do rendeiro, intriga-te o inferno do senhor Rómulo. Estremeces com as letras gordas “Tenho uma doença grave”. Derivado à pequenez das “tatuagens ridículas”, aproximas a revista dos olhos. Fazes um esgar.

Chegas à “Bovary portuguesa”. Mas que raio é isto, pensas tu. Vês a Jennifer Jones, uaaaah, e ao lado, a foto de uma miúda com ar encravado. E pões-te a ler o artigo. E à medida que vais lendo, vais ficando interessado na história dos manuscritos. Mas não podes deixar de ir franzindo o sobrolho, ao pensar: que miúda maluca, doida varrida, não bate bem da bola, tadinha, tarada, tarada?, sim tarada, sem mais nada que fazer, nerd perfeita a bem dizer. A versão crescidinha da menina-Colecção-Aprender, bem comportadinha, sim, mas tarada, não “naquele” sentido... E porque te apeteceu prolongar a hora de almoço ou retardar a hora de jantar, é consoante, foste ver o blog da dita.
E cá estás.

Bem, isto tudo só para dizer bem-vindo! Ah sim, e para dizer também que talvez a dita não seja assim tão nerd quanto parece à primeira vista. Pelo menos assim se espera…

Aquelas paisagens que viste do Brasil… poderás ver umas semelhantes aqui no blog daqui a um mês. A Alfacinha vai para Natal fazer um estágio de neurociências…

Segunda coisa a assinalar: a Alfacinha vem doze páginas antes da Beyoncé. Notável. Grande orgulho. Mãe: é altura de contares a anedota da Sininho, da Fiona e da Angelina Jolie. Vá-la, coragem, por escrito é capaz de funcionar.



clickar na foto para aceder ao site da revista

41 comentários:

davi disse...

Legal ! Você se encontra na categoria inéditos ! hehehe
Aproveita o blog pra fazer um diario brazuca :)
beijo

Anónimo disse...

Então aí vai o desafio. Pode ser que escrita tenha mais piada do que contada:
A fada Sininho, Fiona e Angelina Jolie folheavam, entretidas, as páginas do Guiness Book.
Diz a fada Sininho: “olha pra mim, aqui na página 122, por ser a fada mais bonita e pequenina do mundo!”
Apressa-se a princesa Fiona: “Mas eu venho aqui na página 379, por ser a princesa ogre mais feia e simpática do planeta!”
Então intervém Angelina Jolie: “E eu, por ser a actriz de cinema mais bela e solidária do mundo, estou aqui na página 751. Mas, espera lá? Quem é esta Mariana Babo Rebelo na página seguinte?”
....
Perceberam a piada?

Anónimo disse...

Nem a revista Sábado sabia que tinha tanto poder: convencer a Alfacinha a voltar ao seu blog!
Beijos
MM

Porfirio Silva disse...

Bom, não são só novos leitores que aqui vêm. Alguns, com os dedos chatos de tanto se entalarem na porta fechada, ainda insistem. No meu caso, com a esperança de que a "selecção de esperanças" não fique desfalcada.
A "Sábado" só aparece em linha na semana seguinte, mas lá consegui ver A NOVIDADE em papel. Só é estranho que eles tenham demorado tanto a descobrir-te. Não gastes os autógrafos todos por aí - quero um quando vieres cá à aldeia.

(Acho que vou telefonar à MAB para ela me explicar bem a piada...)

Beijos.

P. disse...

Colaboração com a Sábado é para ser regular? Eu passo a assinar!

Pelo menos esta teve o mérito de mandar o entretenimento às urtigas. Viva a Madame Bovary!

Eu estava com saudades, Alfacinha, quanto mais não fosse da dissecação de insectos arrepiantes.

Nos intervalos das greves, como continua Paris?

(Porfi, depois explica a piada)

Beijinhos, Mariana.

Paula

F. disse...

E caso para dizer-te a ti bemvinda às nossas leituras, que isto tem sido um secame de posts, Mary... Não percebo a piada da Mab, mas deve ser a versão Mabista da reação do nosso progenitor que me forwardou o email que me tinhas também mandado a mim naquela 5a feira, depois me mandou um só dele a descrever o artigo, e depois me ligou a dizer vai comprar a revista! Pus as mãos no ar e fui logo ali ao quisque. Parabéns à minha Nerd preferida, que não é - valha-nos deus - uma assanhada de uma Bovary!

Anónimo disse...

Que passa, niños, que no entendem !!!
Bien entonces les digo:
Angelina Jolie encontrou na página contígua à dela a Mary no Guiness book!!!! Não acham graça????
Mas a piada da anedota é que o nome que a Angelina encontra é, como diz a Mariana, consoante...
Podem lá pôr o vosso e contar aos amigos.
perceberam ou querem um desenho????
Mab

blue258 disse...

A revista Sábado trouxe-me para o teu blog, e daqui, levo-te directamente para os meus favoritos. Parabéns

Anónimo disse...

Ainda bem que a tua mãe explicou... é que estava a ser muito dificil perceber... Agora é evidente!
MM

Ana disse...

foi mais ou menos assim como descreveste embora já seja quarta feira e a revista tenha ficado apenas esquecida dentro de um saco no carro... mas amanhã é quinta e é dia de Sábado por isso há que ler a mais antiga e assim descobri a tal Mariana que gosta de Flaubert.
Tarada? Não, apenas pensei "esta mocinha já não se usa, até gosta de estudar e se interessa por livros"
Parabéns

Inês disse...

Ahaha. E não é que foi quase isso que aconteceu? Impressionante...Devo acrescentar que também fiquei muito impressionada com a estória do tipo do metro e com a idade do Manuel Alegre.
Enfim, são tipos de impressões diferentes.

**

Ana disse...

Se ainda andas por Paris não percas a inauguração de uma exposição no Instituto Camões que é de uns amigos meus e vale a pena
no próximo dia 27 às 19,30h... deve de estar no site do Instituto Camões... é um projecto que envolve pintura e musica com base na meteorologia
"Meteorologia para piano"

Anónimo disse...

Ó minha querida Mariana, e andas tu a investigar, acabrunhada, o sistema neurológico da minhoca da Papuásia quando o teu destino são os olofotes da fama literária, ou da investigação fofoqueira da vida íntima da Bovary. É consoante, claro.
Bjs
JP

Anónimo disse...

Ainda me lembro quando andavas de lupa na mão a decifrar o que mal se percebia. Valeu a pena só por este momento de glória.

Grande beijinho
Marta

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